Different types of people show up at the grocery store just like different animals appear at a watering hole in Africa. Come with me now on a safari to the grocery store for milk.

Upon arriving at the store, I stationed myself behind a cart for camouflage. I immediately spot a flock of “Gawkers.” This is perhaps the slowest moving species you will ever encounter. Look at them as they shuffle aimlessly up and down the aisles. They appear to have no other place to be.

There’s a noise behind me. I sidestep just in time. It’s a “Zoomer.” Like rhinos they charge their grocery baskets at 35 miles an hour down the aisles. They don’t stop for children or old people. They stop at nothing.

Oh my, we have a faceoff. That Zoomer has come face to face with two Gawkers. The two Gawkers are mesmerized by a box of cake mix. The Zoomer can’t get by. There is the display. The Zoomer is rolling his eyes and making noises like he is clearing his throats, but he is not! The Zoomer may charge. The Gawkers are oblivious. Look at that, the Zoomer has turned around and is charging down another aisle. That was a close one.

Ok, I have my milk, and I am in the check out line. I hear the checker say “That’s $10.83.”

Then, I hear the call of the “Exacto” bird, a distant cousin to the Cuckoo.

“I have the exact change right here.” He cackles.

Now begins the strange display of the Exacto bird. He looks through pockets, in his hair, and up his nose. Coin by coin he discovers the change. The Gawkers and Zoomers in line are how making noises like they are clearing their throats, but they are not. The herds are becoming restless. Finely, taking off his socks and shaking them, the last three pennies fall out on the counter. The Exacto struts out of the store. Calm is once more restored.

See you at the watering hole. It’s a jungle out there.

Steve is an award-winning playwright, author, and professional speaker. His extensive background in entertainment includes writing and producing with Academy Award-winner Earnest Borgnine, working with sports legends Mohammad Ali and Hank Aaron, writing comedy specials with comedian Marty Allen, and much more. Steve’s books have been endorsed by people like comedian Jeff Foxworthy and Chicken Soup for the Soul author Jack Canfield.

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