November 5, 2022

By Kathy Smith
Contributing Writer

I have a canine son named Siris who occupies my home. He has been my soulmate for over 15 years. I call him my Little Buddy. Like all of his ilk he has some quirks that tend to be on the annoying but humorous side. Well, here it is folks. Siris is an early riser. I mean early. Four a.m. to be exact. So up I go to see what is so interesting to him this early in the morning. The reason besides him doing his business is a little stray kitty who has adopted Siris. Siris is a gentle guy who has never chased a cat in his life. An arrival at my home was probably a relief to this kitty. I am allergic to cats so I can’t take him in. I have provided little toys and warm place for him to sleeping during the day. The next door neighbors have taken him in at night so he will be safe and warm.

I finally hobble to my patio door to let my buddy out and there is the cat waiting for him to go out. They parade all over my yard kind of like a dog and pony show without the pony. All of this takes time. So “What are you doing to fill this time?” you may ask.

I watch reruns. But my dears, how many times cans a person watch “Sex and the City” or “Law and Order?” Sometimes I shift over to those zany infomercials. Oh gad! As a last resort, I grab my phone and look at social media. I am only on one social media platform. But I am telling you that is enough.

As I scroll through I have found some of the funniest things I have ever seen. I mean laugh-out-loud funny.

I love the dog posts. King Clarence is a riot. His humans give him a funny voice. Clarence sits on a white couch and drools. He is guilty of what he calls destructive chewing on just about anything and of mistaking a small house cat for a lion while he is on a walk.

You can learn to cook or not by following the interesting recipes that folks who are sponsored by those large super centers post. The recipes always have two pounds of hamburger and two planks of cream cheese. You just add a big jar of jarred marinara sauce, globs of spices and last but not least some noodles to your slow cooked set it on high and voilà you have a really thick unusual looking dinner to serve your family.

The kitchens the ladies cook out of are all high end. You know the ones with glass or subway tile, lots of fancy cabinets and the state-of-the-art appliances.

A young woman imitates the television reality stars whose last name starts with a “K.” She does all of the parts. She eats the salads and talks through her nose just like they do. In one conversation she was imitating how they take several minutes to discuss the pronunciation of a one-syllable word.

Last but not least, I get to learn about all of the goo that I am supposed to slather on my face in the morning and at night. These products are usually promoted by women who are either 22 or have had extensive plastic surgery. I mean the older ladies have no pores and no wrinkles. There is not a gray hair to be found on their head. How in the world did my mother survive by using only Ponds?

Finally there is a scratch at the door and in comes Siris. He goes to bed and I am left to watch the morning sunrise.